Taking Control of My Life
One step at a time and doing it my way.
I’ve realized something recently, and that is that I have become something I am not over the years. I have allowed things to pile up, to ignore all the subtle signs that things weren’t going the way they should have been, and that I was changing, and not for the better. I have become *gasp* lazy.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a 101 excuses for the changes — disability, lack of time due to child’s activities — the list goes on and on. And some are valid. Some aren’t anymore. Probably more like 1001 excuses — my family is actively sick of the word “tired.”
My daughter is now 18 and is trying life in another state. She is no longer my responsibility as she is now an adult. (Don’t worry, I’ll be parenting her until I’m dead, I don’t mean that kind of responsibility.) My life is suddenly my own again, and I’ve been adrift the last couple of weeks. What does one do at nearly 38 in the middle of a pandemic? Apparently sleep and think a lot.
Every time I’ve taken the “easy” route, or dismissed something until “later”, I have consciously chosen the really shitty life that I have now. Every damn time. How’s that for adulting?
